@TheAlexNevil: The number of things that are *not* rocket science is staggering.
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@MomofTeen: My trophies are a result of: 80% - pity 10% - friends who are kind 10% - random strangers whose fingers slip 7% - my superior math skills
@joejwest: ME: Pet it OPTIMUS PRIME: But I'm afraid of it ME: It's just a dog OP: Oh..ok [reaches out] DOG: [sneezes] OP: [transforms into large truck]
@WhatsHerFace33: A spider jumped on my wife which made her stumble backwards and fall over her bag. Oh how I laughed! Tweet posted from the guest bedroom.