@bourgeoisalien: The number one cause of depression in people over 30 is hearing co-workers resentfully sing, "Happy Birthday" just to get cake.
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@DurtMcHurtt: Getting a neck tattoo is probably the coolest way to show your love for manual labour.
@HallpassCanada: Just saw a really hot woman in 9inch heels pay for a plasma tv with ones.. I could be wrong but i think she might be a librarian.
@WilliamAder: I guess the guy who named the space between stuff in the universe "space" was just tired.
@jonnysun: *full moon emerges from behimd clouds* nno--nonono it cant be…RUN. FAR AWAY FROM ME. NOW. IM A-- IM A-- *turns into bungalow* IM A WAREHOUSE