@TheBoydP: The old saying about pissed off waiters applies to everyone really. I’m fairly certain the guy at Home Depot just spit on my mulch.
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@nbadag: HER: [whispering seductively] tell me your wildest fantasy ME: [also whispering] owning a home
@WarrenHolstein: Could you imagine being the Secret Service agent that blocked a bullet for Donald Trump, 20 years later? You wouldn't tell anyone.
@ObscureGent: Stealing the candy is not the issue here. The real issue is why are you feeding your baby candy.