@QwertyJones3: The older I get, the more my feet hurt. I guess it's true... time wounds all heels.
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@Molly_Kats: A Victoria's Secret commercial will always come on when you're elbow deep in a bag of Doritos.
@FrankTheDoorman: 97% of scientists believe climate change is man-made and causes rising sea levels of oceans. The other 3% believe Frank Ocean is an ocean.
@primawesome: If the CIA has my house bugged they've heard several impromptu songs about my dog being a good boy.
@AaronFullerton: Before you buy that nice jacket online, ask yourself: "Am I willing to delete one extra email every day for the rest of my life?"