@Home_Halfway: The Olympics are my favorite 3 week event where I get to harshly judge people way better than me.
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@Dana_Bruno: What's that thing called where every time you stand up you have to limp for the first minute? Oh yeah…39
@EddieHarris216: Please show up 15 minutes early to your appointment at 8, so your blood pressure can be elevated from anger when we finally take it at 9. - Doctors
@wickedsuga: DON'T TOUCH ME! AND YOU'RE BREATHING WRONG! STOP IT! -wives, on their period Or if they're hungry. Or if you are actually breathing wrong.