@Home_Halfway: The Olympics are my favorite 3 week event where I get to harshly judge people way better than me.
YOU MIGHT ALSO LIKE
@Jeffwni: Keanu Reeves: THERE'S A BOMB ON THE BUS! IF WE GO UNDER 50MPH WE'LL EXPLODE! Me: [while maintaining eye contact, presses "Next Stop" signal]
@StellaRtwot: I bet you the first person to invent puzzles was a woman that ripped up a picture of her husband.
@rockymomax: TRAINER: you know what they say ME: no pain! lo mein! TRAINER: it's "no gain" ME: (eating Chinese food) i like this better