@aveuaskew: The only cat like reflex I possess is turning and staring at the wall when you talk to me.
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@fizzlestothetop: Dogs: OMG YOU'RE HOME! I LOVE YOU!!! Cats: greetings human. as you may have noticed, my food bowl is empty...fill it..I'll be on the couch.
@KateWhineHall: Really, there's no need to ever take your kids anywhere fun because they can just sit and complain at home for a lot less money.
@KentWGraham: All it takes is a “food dreadful, service poor” Yelp review to get your mother-in-law to stop inviting you to Sunday dinner.