@aveuaskew: The only cat like reflex I possess is turning and staring at the wall when you talk to me.
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@TheMichaelRock: My boss said to "treat customers like you treat your mother", so I haven't answered my phone in a month and I have 74 unheard voicemails.
@EliBraden: No one shot Rick Ross - when you're that big you're BOUND to be hit by a random stray bullet now and then
@BethStelling: I've been called a "female comic" so many times, I'll probably only be able to answer to "girl daddy" when I have children.