@aveuaskew: The only cat like reflex I possess is turning and staring at the wall when you talk to me.
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@I_Mee_Myself_: My girlfriend just walked in and called me gay... If my nails weren't drying I swear to god...
@ericsshadow: My wife ordered a pizza from Papa John's but I saved a step by throwing up before it got here.
@LuvPug: I just wished a Bride-to-be good luck on her first marriage. She didn't seem to appreciate my sincerity.