@KingPatrick24: The only difference between the 13yr old me and the 28yr old me is that my kool-aid now contains vodka.
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@TheCiscoKidder: When I see a parked car with the stick figure family on it, I move the husband over and put my studly stick figure next to the wife.
@HatfieldAnne: “Just how serious are you about keeping me as a customer?” *slides hand across table to take a second promotional pen
@jimmy_sharpe: Something just came up on my computer asking if I trusted it, and now we're running away to start a new life together.
@pinapl: When I have more than $20 in my account at the end of the month I have to wonder what bill I forgot to pay.