@The_Sculptress: The only double penetrating I'll ever do is eating the double stuff Oreo I just dropped into my coffee.
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@Camel_Crushin: Genesis is my favorite rock group who've been around long enough to write a chapter in the bible.
@ZachXJ: Little kid next to me on a plane just ate the preservative packet out of his jerky, looked at me and said, "Don't tell my mom."
@QwertyJones3: If my company really wanted us to move during a fire drill, they'd lose the alarm and just announce that there's free food by the stairs.
@TampaBayMomma: Men think us women dream of finding the perfect man when really, all we want is to eat anything without getting fat.