@The_Sculptress: The only double penetrating I'll ever do is eating the double stuff Oreo I just dropped into my coffee.
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@wickedsuga: Me: Do you want to be the big spoon or the little spoon? Coach: Me: Coach: Me: Oh. You said HUDDLE up, didn't you?
@TheMichaelRock: Me: Whatcha doin? 12yo: Catching up on Walking Dead. Me: Did Hershel die yet? 12yo: WHAT?! Me: Guess not.
@SodomyClown: If someone says "I will do anything for you" lean in really close and say "There's a body in my basement and I can't eat it all by myself."
@Kyle_Lippert: Name's Bond. James Bond. *Drinks martini* Jame's Bond. Names Bond. *drinks another martini* Bame's Jond. *Drinks 1 more* THIS IS MY SONG WOO