@GabbbarSingh: The only entities which will survive a nuclear holocaust will be the c**kroaches and a book packed by Flipkart.
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@Julian_Deane: With all the ways to contact me on social media these days the police still smash through my door unannounced again?
@iwearaonesie: *helps wife get toddler in his high chair* wife: That's a new shirt, let's put a bib on you me [wearing a bib] This is ridiculous
@Mr_Kapowski: *hears a loud noise outside of bedroom door at night* *wife reaches over* "Honey- WHERE ARE YOU?" *already locked myself in the bathroom*
@yassinovic89: Women's logic: I went to buy a suit. But i saw a beautiful pair of shoes. So i bought this handbag.