@thetobbie: The only excuse for the kinds of storms that have been coming is that someone somewhere is losing a game of Jumanji...
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@iwearaonesie: Such bullshit that people stop saying "You ate it all! Good job!" once you reach a certain age
@dulcetry: Rapture's tomorrow. Christians will be flying up into the air to meet Jesus. Two words: DUCK HUNT
@avxlanche: me: mom i like this person from twitter mom: TWITTER IS LIKE CRAIGSLIST YOU THINK YOURE BUYING USED BOWLING SHOES AND YOU WIND UP DEAD
@EliTerry: another car tip: once a month, open the hood and rip out one thing. most of the engine is decorative and weighs down your car