@thetobbie: The only excuse for the kinds of storms that have been coming is that someone somewhere is losing a game of Jumanji...
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@Spaced_Cowboy00: A nice looking girl waved at me earlier today but there was no way I was swimming out that far to save her.
@novicefather: Pour your beer in a coffee cup because sometimes walking around with a beer during breakfast is frowned upon.
@1Happytwit: I was highly offended until I realised HR were calling me incompetent and not incontinent.
@Thee1_4U: Hey, if anyone needs help raising their kids, come talk to me. I've been one for 30 some years now.