@rationalists: The only lie Republicans haven't told about Obama is he's white.
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@DirtyySouthMess: I was singing in the gym shower & the girl in the one beside me started singing along & then suddenly my life became this weird, naked duet.
@RidiculousSheri: Yelp Review: Babies Cute at first, but then screamy like angry pterodactyls. There is literally poop everywhere. Would not recommend.
@drubicabra: Just witnessed a white girl take a selfie with her coffee in Starbucks. I always heard the legends but never thought I'd see it in the wild.
@fightforfood: Contrary to obvious physics, you can't attach a ceiling fan to your back and fly away like a helicopter.