@rationalists: The only lie Republicans haven't told about Obama is he's white.
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@KalvinMacleod: BABY BOSS: we need to talk about your work ethic ME: *covers face with hands* BABY BOSS: oh guess he's out for lunch. I'll talk to him later
@Nikkeya08: Sorry my diet made me slap the oreo out of your toddler's hand and scream "NOT TODAY SATAN!"
@withanewname: Her: *leaving seductively, slowly dragging fingertip across countertop* Mgr: What'd she want? Me: nothing. Mgr: Where're all the donuts?