@Owl_Meat: The only Plato I care about is a big Plato spaghetti
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@mrdaveturner: There's a woman reading the bible on the tube. Fighting the urge to lean over to her and say "He dies at the end".
@KentWGraham: For parents, college is the opposite of kidnapping. They demand $100,000 from you or they’ll send your kid back.
@sixfootcandy: Me: (filling the medicine cabinet with ping pong balls) Him: What are you doing? Me: I invited your family over for dinner tonight.
@fro_vo: Me: I don’t know what to do on my date Friend: show her some local culture [later] Date: hi Me: *holds out hands* look at this yogurt