@Owl_Meat: The only Plato I care about is a big Plato spaghetti
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@kylegotjokes: My ex just sneezed and I accidentally said "bless you" now she just staring at the bushes confused wondering who said that
@NYC_Blonde: You can lead a horse to water but you can't make it date an emotionally available, age-appropriate, nice, single guy with a good job.
@iwearaonesie: *wife wonders where I am* *hears every musical snowman in the store start singing* *knows where I am*