@Mr_Kapowski: The only problem with winning concert tickets from a Pepsi lid is that you will be attending a concert with a bunch of Pepsi drinkers
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@Donna_McCoy: Cosmetic surgery is a great way to spend your life savings and end up looking like a surprised owl.
@ThingsJackDigs: Baptisms were invented by a guy who had to explain why he was caught trying to drown a baby.
@Marcmywords2: Hey Dad, The airport called, if you don't turn down your TV, they're filing a complaint.
@imchriskelly: I have complicated opinions on the death penalty. I think it’s wrong but I also think that owners of cash-only establishments should get it.