@Mr_Kapowski: The only problem with winning concert tickets from a Pepsi lid is that you will be attending a concert with a bunch of Pepsi drinkers
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@SternoShots: Me: Just to be safe, we should quarantine Texas and nuke it from space. CW: That seems like an overreaction to Ebola. Me: They have Ebola?
@daemonic3: Alex: A ship that has sunk What is my relationship? Alex: No sorry tha- [glares at wife] I'll take YOU RUINED MY LIFE KAREN for $800 Alex
@TitansHomer: Guess what! Some blacks don't like whites, some whites don't like blacks! And nobody likes Mexicans! Big deal! Who cares!
@HiddenPinky: Hi, I'd like a salamus sandwich, please. "You mean salami?" No, just a single salamus. "People who make Latin jokes are a bunch of ani."