@Iwriteforcats: The only real difference between my 20s and my 30s is that now I make all my bad decisions before midnight.
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@ehchino: [first date] I'm sorry, I fiddle when I get nervous "That's okay" Yeah.... *jams out epic fiddle solo for the rest of the date*
@AristotlesNZ: Movies are so unrealistic. This guy's using his computer to access an alien ship & not once has it asked if he wants to upgrade his Adobe.
@robfee: Mitt Romney announcing he’s not running for president is like Johnny Depp announcing there won’t be a sequel to Mortdecai.
@tpurvis06: Just watched a dog chase its tail for 10 min., thought "damn so easily entertained" then realized I watched a dog chase his tail for 10 min.