@WineMummy: The only reason I'm on LinkedIn is to find employed dates for the weekends.
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@rantingmd: getting sick of watching movies where johnny depp dresses like a hobo. I blame him for russel brand
@iwearaonesie: [movie theater] *reaches into wife's purse* *pulls out lasagna* me: Told you it'd work
@JohnFugelsang: The awkward part of having the 10 Commandments displayed in US courthouses is realizing that 8 of them are pretty much legal here.