@iGreenMonk: The only reason why i am fat is because a tiny body could not store all this huge personality.
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@NYC_Blonde: Boys are cute how they're all "I like girls that don't wear heavy makeup" and "get down from that tree near my window or I'll call the cops"
@hazelmotes1: Mom: *tastefully decorates house* Kid: HERE ARE 20 MILK CARTONS I TAPED TOGETHER TO MAKE A SNOWMAN I EXPECT THIS TO BE PROMINENTLY DISPLAYED
@OhNoSheTwitnt: A fox: People aren't so bad. I hear they named a news station after us. [Watches 1 minute of Hannity] We attack the humans at dawn.
@SCbchbum: I blame movies for giving me unrealistic expectations about how long I can look away from the road while driving.