@iGreenMonk: The only reason why i am fat is because a tiny body could not store all this huge personality.
YOU MIGHT ALSO LIKE
@PieChord: Wanna know what it's like being married? Chain yourself to a wild animal. Now kick the animal.
@AmishPornStar1: You know that chick who said, "Nothing tastes as good as skinny feels?"... Yeah, well I ate her.
@dietredbull: If we had gender equality we'd ALL give birth through our ass. And no more Men from Mars & Women from Venus, everyone would be from Uranus.
@brianbowman73: Coworker: Pass your random drug test? Me: With flying colors! CW: Really? Me. So many colors! CW: You're high right now aren't you?