@iGreenMonk: The only reason why i am fat is because a tiny body could not store all this huge personality.
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@Try2StopME: Friend: "Dude, me & my girlfriend are getting married." ME: "Wow! when?" Friend: "Me on 27th April and she on 14th June."
@aLunchBox: I hate when fire trucks drive real slow with the siren on. There's one behind me right now. So annoying.