@nachosarah: the only reason you should be showing me pictures of your kids is if they're missing or you want them to be
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@ojedge: Che: "Why do you want to participate in this guerrilla war?" Me: [picturing myself leading an army of gorillas into battle] "Independence."
@conanobrienswyf: How the hell did Charles Manson get like 16 people to murder for him? I can't even get two kids to brush their teeth.