@nachosarah: the only reason you should be showing me pictures of your kids is if they're missing or you want them to be
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@zachreinert03: Just saw a woman getting 'running lessons' with rubber bands & a head gear. Pffft, I could've taught her for free and with only a chainsaw
@QwertyJones3: I used to hate flying. I thought the plane would go down. But now I just bring my wife with me on the plane because my wife never goes down.
@thisislizz: Dear Tech Support, I twied to puth my tongue in tha USthB port again. Canth you helpf?