@TrickleVaryTea: The only thing a woman wants jumping out of a cake is another cake.
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@shutupmikeginn: Everyday I walk to work by a Ferrari dealership, put my nose against the etched glass window and say, "someday I'll own a window this nice."
@thepunningman: [on deathbed] "Tell my Wif... *cough*" Yes? Tell her what? "Tell my Wifi provider their broadband speeds were moderate at best" [dies]
@YeahDrewisOn: My girlfriend is: - super sweet - light as a feather - pink - melts in my mouth when I eat her - always at a circus - possibly cotton candy
@badbanana: "No, Mr. Bond, I expect you to dye." Auric Goldfinger giving instructions at his Easter egg decorating party.