@thatUPSdude: Can't figure out if my dad is defusing a bomb or trying to answer his cell phone. It's tense!
"The green one dad, not the Red one!"
@Cool_Jesse: NO, YOU GET THE HELL OFF YOUR PROPERTY.
@Fickle_Filly: 7am: *starts diet*
7pm: *eats the house*
@JP_theAntiHero: Sometimes I think you have good taste in clothing as I try on your sundress.
Other times I think you need a better home security system
@AmericanGent69: {First Date}
Me: I once saved a dog from a fire.
Shania Twain: That don’t impress me much.
Me: Oh well one time I successfully inserted the straw into a Capri Sun without spilling.
Shania Twain: ok that’s actually really good.
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