@krisv_723: The only thing between me & a killing spree is the fact that I'd have to poop in front of people in prison.
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@SEvans_author: When I die, I want to be buried with a few random animal bones so archeologists 1,000 yrs from now will wonder what the hell I was
@YoungNobler: Before you cannibalize your roommate due to cabin fever, remember that you cannot afford the rent alone. #blizzard2016
@TheBoydP: If you don’t believe in evolution how do you explain such striking similarities between the doughnut and the bagel?
@NurseMurderer: This earthquake was the first time that I've ever said, "it was 4.7, but felt bigger."