@krisv_723: The only thing between me & a killing spree is the fact that I'd have to poop in front of people in prison.
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@dave_cactus: *sitting on a seesaw for 20 minutes* …OK, there's ONE downfall to being the last human alive.
@LeslieInMpls: I wonder if clouds ever look down on us and say "Hey look...that one is shaped like an idiot".
@MUMSIEesq: ME: There was an old woman— 4YO: How old? M: Old. —who lived in a shoe 4: What shoe? ME: Please hold all questions until the end on this one