@TheCatWhisprer: The only thing I do to get my body ready for summer is make sure my AC is serviced.
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@katiefzack: I don't throw people under the bus because there's a chance they could lay flat in the center and not get hurt, which I'm not okay with.
@shutupmikeginn: Girl on my bus has a therapy dog with a marked vest and I was like, "what kind of therapy is he in?" because of course I said that
@blade_funner: STEWARDESS: Does anyone know how to defuse a bomb? PERSON WHO DOESN'T FLINCH OPENING A CAN OF CRESCENT ROLLS: Right here.
@cloudypianos: *lady shares a wallet photo of her son* *i pull out a 20-part accordion wallet photo set of my dogs*