@TheCatWhisprer: The only thing I do to get my body ready for summer is make sure my AC is serviced.
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@AnnaKei26: According to the New England Journal of Medicine, the blood alcohol level is to be measured in Lohans now
@BoozeWallet: [at gym] me: [wiping down equipment after finishing with it] cute girl: you don't have to do that with the vending machine. are you crying
@Sarcasticsapien: I'm pretty sure that the guy who wrote about the Apocalypse was a meteorologist.