Funny Tweeter

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@Vivalazoso: The only thing keeping me from cutting eye holes in a newspaper to spy on people in the coffee shop is my constant lack of scissors.

The only thing keeping me from cutting eye holes in a newspaper to spy on people in the coffee shop is my constant lack of scissors.
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@SocialustGal13: My doctor told me to start killing people. Not in those exact words but he said I needed to reduce my stress. Same thing.

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@pattymo: "And the guy's name was Anthony WEINER? Come on" - high school AP U.S. history student, 2046

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@Illiter8: Only my husband would walk up to my gynecologist in Costco, point at me, give him the two thumbs up while grinning and say, 'Nice one, huh?'

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@ScottLinnen: Girl, yo grammatical atrocities so huge, you need typosuction.

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