@Vivalazoso: The only thing keeping me from cutting eye holes in a newspaper to spy on people in the coffee shop is my constant lack of scissors.
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@junejuly12: With sufficient velocity, any object can be an effective weapon. Unfortunately this kitten is not cooperating.
@NicCageMatch: Contents of my wallet just spilled all over the cashier's counter, so embarrassing, spiders everywhere.
@garrettbarry70: A pop up blocker for coworkers who send you an email and immediately show up at your desk to ask if you got their email.