@bjaynash: The only thing my girlfriend blows is everything out of proportion.
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@jazmasta: [loudly so dad who's been depressed since mom left can hear] Oh no, my GPS broke! If only I had some good DRIVING DIRECTIONS *dad looks up*
@bryanmcc74: Finally I have an excuse for getting fat, heard on radio about girl who been eating in her sleep ... That's it, I've got that !
@fluffysuse: There are three types of people: 1. Annoying people 2. Annoying people I am sleeping with 3. People I haven't met
@HeatherLuvsYou: I always check my smoke alarms to make sure they're working. I call it "cooking"