@FinallyHeSleeps: The only thing sexier than a girl wearing glasses is a girl wearing only glasses.
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@bobbiejo448: Every time I use <3 in an @ to someone, I can't help but think, "Please accept this carrot with balls as a token of how much I heart you."
@Herbs1996: Hate when older people say "you're too young to be tired" alright Margret you're too old to be alive but here we are
@ericsshadow: Would you get your phone if you dropped it in a toilet? 1996: eww that's gross 2016: head first without thinking
@iamspacegirl: SANTA: Mhm, and I see here that you have the power of flight, which wo- SUPERMAN W/ ANTLERS TIED TO HIS HEAD: Look, I really need this job.