@TheTweetOfGod: The only thing standing between you and your dreams is insomnia.
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@JonasPolsky: James Bond is the type of top secret spy who announces who he is, then shoots everyone and sets off a bomb while doing absolutely no spying.
@gruffybeard: 630: *wakes up to take dog for walk 632: *pours coffee and checks twitter 749: *steps in dog shit on my kitchen floor
@dlsims01: Life is like a cup of coffee... No matter how much sugar you put in it, there's always grounds at the end.
@SCbchbum: If you want to know how many hours your mom was in labor with you, tell her you won't be able to come over & visit.