@doktorj: "The only thing we have to fear is fear itself, and being tagged in a super unflattering photo."
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@thatdutchperson: [blind date] Her: I'm a Capricorn, which probably tells you way too much about m.. Me: *covers ears with bread rolls*
@GrantTanaka: Helped my son flush his betta fish today. He asked "Dad, does God love bettas?" & I said "Dunno, son, ask him after we flush you."
@Rollinintheseat: I wonder if Mariah Carey knows it's possible to sing a high note without pointing her finger in the air?