@SteveSuckington: The only thing worse than sitting down on a cold toilet seat is sitting down on a warm toilet seat.
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@Scott_A_Gilmore: News says there were a "record number of marijuana seizures" in 2015. Weird … after all these decades I've never had a single seizure.
@NicCageMatch: Overheard a woman telling another woman "It's $150 and she supplies all the turtles" and whatever it is, I'm in.
@WilliamAder: Shutdown Apocalypse Update: Hearing now that the government closed the Grand Canyon. Not sure if they roll a tarp over it or how that works.
@radtoria: 1st baby: you make sure he's breathing every five minutes 2nd baby: someone replaced him with a ham in the crib and you don't even notice