@OhNoSheTwitnt: The only time a man has ever asked me "do you have a sister?" was just to make sure he avoided dating her too.
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@weinerdog4life: One time my dad caught me doing homework and made me eat an entire pack of calculators
@tastefactory: [ants at a Def Leppard concert] *Pour Some Sugar on Me starts* Ant 1: Oh hell yeah I love this one Ant 2: Sugar is good for us and the queen
@JMNuch23: When a girl tells you how many guys she's slept with, multiply by 3 and add the number of guys in her phone named Tyler
@BillFienberg: I'm 25, which means I'm just as far from 10 as I am from 40. Although, in terms of money and maturity, I'm still way closer to 10.