@OhNoSheTwitnt: The only time a man has ever asked me "do you have a sister?" was just to make sure he avoided dating her too.
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@SamuelMoen: Impress your date. Be wild. Flip the table. Flip it 360 so its upright again & nothing has moved except a roll that has flown into her mouth
@jackmackenroth: Lately I've been getting in touch with my inner self. I really need to switch to a better brand of toilet paper.
@Dutch_50: The way to a man's heart is thru his stomach. At least that's what the crazy woman with the butcher knife kept saying at the murder scene.
@TheTweetOfGod: "Why are all the good ones either married, gay or the Son of God?" - Mary Magdalene.