@OhNoSheTwitnt: The only time a man has ever asked me "do you have a sister?" was just to make sure he avoided dating her too.
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@Mr_Kapowski: Even if you're single, always blame a declined credit card on your fictional spouse at the register.
@ErinEph: You have to wait 30 days to buy a gun but Amazon Prime only takes 2 days to ship live bees, no questions asked.
@SmartassChef: Nothing freaks me out like trying to remember which brownies I packed in my son's lunch box