@thomas_violence: the only time I can imagine clicking on a Facebook story is maybe if I got attacked by a bird while trying to do something else
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@sad_tree: *sees guy dressed as ghost for Halloween* Hey buddy thats not funny, my grandma is a ghost
@HomeProbably: Relationship status: My neighbour/girlfriend was kidnapped but she's ok now, I was caught.
@Adyaces: Doc: You need to lose some weight. Me: How? Dr: Don't eat anything fatty. Me: Like pies and chips? Dr: No. Don't eat anything, fatty.