@daplusk: The only time me and a girl orgasmed at the same time,nnShe didn't even know I was in the cupboard.
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@better_off_dad: God: I made the sky a canvas, the sun & the clouds an ever changing painting of colorful beauty. Devil: I made potato chips.
@GrowlyGrego: [at bar] "Yeah I pulled down a solid 6 figs last year." Whoa that's impressive! "I know, right! Can't believe I got fired by that fig farm."
@djdarrellripley: Him: Where'd you get that black eye? Me: My girlfriend gave it to me. Him: I thought your girlfriend was out of town. Me: I did too...