@PieChord: The only time my ex will ever scream "DEEPER, DEEPER" is when they are lowering my casket into the ground.
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@andylassner: So proud watching my son fight invisible monsters in the outfield while the ball rolls right past him.
@MikeCanRant: You have to put a potato in the microwave to push the potato button. Other things dont turn into potatoes. *brought to you by Bounty*
@aveuaskew: "Why are the balloon bouquets more expensive than packaged balloons? It's just air!" Exactly "What?" It's inflation "I hate you"