@PieChord: The only time my ex will ever scream "DEEPER, DEEPER" is when they are lowering my casket into the ground.
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@NikiWithIssues: Liam Neeson is like Super Mario who keeps saving a chick who keeps getting kidnapped but instead of mushrooms he's really into phone calls.
@belleykell: It takes me roughly 7 secs into an episode of House Hunters to discover that my pure hatred of strangers still exists
@AnniemuMary: Assorted bandaid box- 3 in a size you need 12 you can make work 35 round to weigh box down
@buhsbaby_baby: When you unfollow me, I find your name on a Coke bottle, shake it up, put it back on the shelf and whisper "suck it" under my breath.