@PieChord: The only time my ex will ever scream "DEEPER, DEEPER" is when they are lowering my casket into the ground.
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@caliluvgirl77: Therapist: we need to work on YOU taking responsibility for YOUR actions Me: *pulls a flask out* WHO PUT THIS IN MY PURSE?
@Kalarlis: what would Netflix even do if i sent them back a DVD of me doing karate they'd have no choice but to add it to their collection i suppose
@PeachCoffin: The most unrealistic thing about The Walking Dead is that a couple who had a kid after 2000 would've named it Carl.
@stacywawa1: I just saw a guy put deodorant on before walking into an adult bookstore. I kinda want to date him now.