@jenyb4: The only way I'd want to watch a video of you pouring a bucket of ice water over your head is if you promise you drown at the end.
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@13spencer: [Having a problem with my iPhone] Me: *texting myself* Test Me: *replies* I have a girlfriend
@LurkAtHomeMom: Hell hath no fury like a 4 year old whose sandwich has been cut into squares when he wanted triangles.
@StarWarsProblms: Kylo: I need an N to finish my favorite Vader quote. Han: This is SpaghettiOs, not Alphabet Soup. Kylo: Great. Now Vader says, "OOOOOOOO!"
@shiksaaa: My boyfriend said he had a Catwoman fantasy. I must have misunderstood because we both wore leather cat suits to bed last night. Awkward.