@McNevich: The only way I'm listening to a voicemail is if I think the pizza guy is lost
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@tastefactory: Student begins reading poem, teacher interrupts "No this is Creative WRITHING class" Other student squirms around on floor "Very good Todd"
@DaHess1: Christian Mingle: God has hidden a spouse for you on our website. Pay us $30 and see if you can find them.
@LoriLuvsShoes: My 16: "How come when my friends come over you're suddenly the nicest mom in the world?"
@WheelTod: Just got your text from last night: you need to cut the red wire first to stop the countdown.