@McNevich: The only way I'm listening to a voicemail is if I think the pizza guy is lost
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@BrassBallsCJ: My superpower is finding the humor in nearly every situation. Uncle Bob’s superpower was flying. Landing... not so much. Lol Priest: That’s your eulogy?
@iamburtjarvis: [radioshack meeting] employee: sir, overall sales are really low. CEO: when did we start selling overalls, bro?