@TheTweetOfGod: The only way to make conservatives feel threatened by climate change is to convince them the climate is gay.
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@ibid78: Ever since we lowered our ceilings here at the shipyard, sails have gone through the roof.
@Bagyants: I bet when they discovered the radish everyone was like "Let's name it Rad!" and one guy was all "Let's dial that back a bit."
@pinningnut: My husband and I are thinking about leaving everything to our dog. What he will do with $20.00 I don't know. But I hope he enjoys it.
@danielvisme: I'm not staying up all night to get lucky. If it doesn't happen by midnight, I'm going to bed.