@TheTweetOfGod: The only way to make conservatives feel threatened by climate change is to convince them the climate is gay.
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@Togsbabble: My dog eats his puke and dirty tissues... but I point him to a mushroom I dropped and he gives me the "what is this shit" look.
@Cain_Unable: I used to think Pet Insurance was a waste of money but my cat is at the vets & they've sent us a really lovely little courtesy cat.
@noduffers: I just called one ex a calculator and another a potential murder victim so if you're looking for metaphors, I'm probably the grapefruit.
@_Tempo11: I buy reverse osmosis filtered alkaline water for my dog and he prefers to drink out of the lake.