@GianDoh: The opening ceremony for our ribbon repair business was pretty confusing.
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@TheAlexNevil: I put hydrogen peroxide on a cut to show 7 it doesn't MOTHER OF GOD WHAT IS THIS STUFF MADE FROM THE BLOOD OF PIRANHAS?! IT BURNS, IT BURNS!
@koalaslament: I always live in constant fear that a bicep avi is gonna steal my lady and treat her right
@desusnice: i love that kanye gets into very specific beefs with ppl i have to google but he's nice enough to say both their first & last name
@DaddyJew: Boss: you're late Me: traffic Carol: he was in his car taking selfies again Me: goddammit Carol, I will cut you