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@SleazySli: The opposite of a nightmare is a morningstallion.
@ibid78: [me after 1 minute of jogging] this is good, this was a good decision
[me after 3 minutes of jogging] life is suffering, there is no god
@Edie_Is_Dead: Im half scotch.
And i dont mean scottish.
@heckyessica: Wait for it
@BoogTweets: Me: how much for the seal Dracula
Zoo keeper: that’s a walrus
@DanOverHere: People who write hai and bai, wai?