@KenJennings: The opposite of "Free Willy" is "Predestinationy."
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@Snikoggs: [Job Interview] "It says in your CV that you are quick at mathematics. What is 17 X 19?" "36" "That's not even close" "But it was quick"
@CanadianCyn: Today is my 18th wedding anniversary. If my husband doesn't give me a divorce as a gift I'm telling his girlfriend.
@Parker_Simpson: On toilet in a stall playin TigerWoods on phone.eagled a par5.Crowd cheered.Pretty sure guy in the next stall thought I just took epic dump
@fightforfood: Let's talk about Sex Baby. I regret you naming our son that. You're a real piece of shit, Tammy.