@KenJennings: The opposite of "Free Willy" is "Predestinationy."
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@GreenishDuck: This is your brain. *holds up a brain* And this is your brain on drugs. *holds up a brain wearing a weird hat and a scarf*
@SaraESpivey: After I orgasm, I yell "Aaaaand scene." Then I push him off me, throw him his clothes while holding the door open& say "Ummm. We'll call u."
@GoldenSpirals: [At Vision Center] Receptionist: Which Doctor would you like to see? Me: I'd like to be able to see all of them. That's why I'm here.
@msdanifernandez: Did you guys hear about the football player who hits women? No the other one. No the other one.