@EastTNLady: The options really are this bad
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@KalvinMacleod: I wish someone would leave a horse’s head in my bed so that when my kids sneak up on me in the morning, I can be like, BAM, horse's head.
@cwhudson: [couple who talks via walkie talkie] GIRL: [into walkie] this relationship is over, over GUY: *cries into walkie* it's roger isn't it?? over
@SirEviscerate: *accidentally uses flash while trying to take pic of funny looking person on the bus* ... *makes distant thunder noises with mouth*
@SirEviscerate: *sees melted chocolate swirling in tv ad* ooooh yeah *raisins fall into the chocolate in slo mo* nooooo *punches hole in wall*