@deviledlegs: The other day my son asked me who picks up the seeing eye dog's poop.
YOU MIGHT ALSO LIKE
@VodkaThursday: Gave up on my dream of being a murderer a long time ago. I leave long hair everywhere & everyone knows its mine without doing a DNA test.
@JermHimselfish: I got everyone a pet snake for Christmas but you have to catch it, they're in my house, they're everywhere, please come get your snake.
@primawesome: Tommy Lee Jones always looks like his son just told him he wants to ride unicycles professionally.