@leechee420: The package says "Do not eat raw cookie dough" but all I really see is "Pillsbury hates you and doesn't want you to be happy."
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@InternetHippo: [inventing dialup internet] What should it sound like when it's connecting? [guy in the back stands up confidently] Pterodactyls
@BCMontgo: Boss: You're Me: Doing great? B: No, I'm letting you M: Have the corner office? B: go. M: Why? B: Constantly completing my sentences wrong.