@HALFniteStand: "The past tense of LOL is not LOL'd, it's L'dOL." - How I like to end a date with 18-25 year old girls.
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@PaulFrei: How many rum & cokes are too many after a couple Vicodin? Asking for this EMT. He seems pretty interested.
@ShutUpThatsWho: [invention of blue cheese] "this cheese has gone off" sell it "but it's gone mouldy" I SAID SELL IT! "fine" & double the price "are u ok?"
@verycozy: Im sorry, but you only have two weeks to live *slides the doctor a five dollar bill* Ooooh make that 3 weeks buddy *winks at loved ones*