@TheTweetOfGod: The people in charge of hell sometimes visit North Korea just to exchange ideas.
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@iGreenMonk: *Neighbor text - Sorry for using your wife. Use only when you're not at home* *Shoots Wife* *Neighbor text again - I mean 'Wifi' not wife*
@TheBoydP: The ruling that legal papers can now be "served" on Facebook is ridiculous. Don't they know the people they're looking for are on twitter?
@skadel68: Human Resources just came up with a cool new term for just about everything I like to do at work. They call it "inappropriate"
@missmayn: What happened to sneaking out and getting drunk in the woods? Teenagers these days be all “I hate you mom I’m joining ISIS.”