@AmishPornStar1: The people who came up with all these different rules for pluralization are bunch of peni.
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@ceejoyner: No human will ever understand humiliation like a dog who happens to run into a wolf while wearing a sweater.
@amydillon: [sits next to friend in a coma, holding her hand] "Squeeze once if that's an 8 at the end of your HBO Go password."
@Reverend_Scott: Cop: Know how fast you were going? "55?" Cop: Faster. "217." Cop: Um, no, 72. "24?" Cop: I already told y- "Negative 6?" Cop: Get out.
@U_Want_Shum_M8: Chuck Norris once broke a mirror over the head of a black cat while standing under a ladder on Friday 13th.The next day he won the lottery