@Bearslietoo: The people you lose sleep over don't lose sleep over you. So, help out and drunk dial them at 3AM....
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@LackOfShame: I'm no blood spatter expert, but by the look of this bathroom floor, you're pulling your tampons out way too fast.
@fro_vo: [interview] So your resume says you used to be in the theater yes that is correct What made you leave it? well, the movie ended so
@DaddyJew: I just watched one kid call his twin brother ugly and now I'm just waiting for him to realize what that means
@djdarrellripley: Me: I'm going across the street to get a beer. Priest: You can't bring a beer in here. This is a church. Me: I can if it's in my stomach.