@tnylgn: The person that was in charge of naming Ohio must have thought of it when they realized someone was waving at the person behind them.
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@samalmightysam: You're born, you grow up, you start listening to a Pink Floyd song, you get married, have kids, you die, the song hasn't finished.
@JohnLyonTweets: "Disney movies promote false images of the friendliness of woodland creatures," I mutter after each rabies shot.
@SortaBad: A good prank is to rent a Mercedes, stick a huge bow on it, and park it in front of your neighbor's house
@awordforaword: "Finish your peas. Kids in China are starving" "Finish your math. Kids in America are cheating off the Asian kids"