@tnylgn: The person that was in charge of naming Ohio must have thought of it when they realized someone was waving at the person behind them.
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@TheDairylandDon: COP: You're under arrest for owning a non-domesticated animal. ME:(looks at otter)You mean Dave? COP:...and for this weed ME: That's Dave's
@Quanty_J: Me: Look. There's a deer. Hunter: Don't spook it. Me: *slowly stuffing a werewolf mask back into my backpack*
@JosesLovesYou: -911 Whats the emergency? My wife is suffocating me -Literally or figuratively sir? Well thats a stupid question. How would I be talking?
@Xalqee: "If I act like I'm asleep he'll leave, If I act like I'm asleep he'll leave, if I act like I'm asleep he'll leave" - Me getting pulled over