@bransonreese: The Person Who Discovered Sharks
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@withanewname: "Doc, it's embarrassing, but I don't feel sexy." "Try wearing the wife's panties." "Really?" "Yeah, the red ones with the lace are nice"
@1Happytwit: My neighbours were listening to some pretty cool music until the arseholes asked me to turn it down.
@EliTerry: "looks like a burrito fell out his pocket, hes crawling up to get it and crying. thats gonna cost points" - commentators on my snowboard run