@Love_bug1016: The person who is your first and last thought of the day is either the one who has your heart, or who's murder you're secretly plotting.
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@Carbosly: That moment when you hear a weird noise in the house and you're so lazy you think "Meh, whatever. I had a good run."
@internetluke: [showing my family to coworker] This is a picture of my daughter & my cat. Mittens & Jack. "You named your daughter Jack?" Nope, mittens