@jngraphs: I see you've blocked me on all social media sites & moved house without leaving a forwarding address Baby, does this mean we're on a break?

@bloodysurgeon1: The glove snap before the prostate exam isn't necessary. We just do that to mess with you.

@TheGladStork: I wish horses knew that every person who drives by them says, "Oh look. Horses."

@DadandBuried: 5yo: I want a snack. M: You can have a yogurt smoothie. 5: I NEED CHOICES! M: Ok. You can have a yogurt smoothie or you can have nothing.

@marinhubka: [sifting through mail] baby shower invitation? Haha, um no thanks, Linda. I have a regular size shower that I can use whenever I want