@Blarebare: The pet groomer didn't appreciate the 10 dollar bill I slid across the table to give my dog the "happy ending".
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@QwertyJones3: "Doctor, I'm afraid of people yelling letters of the alphabet at me." THERAPIST: Oh! You are? WHY???
@spitfirehussy: You've been found guilty of murder in the 1st degree. Your sentence is 20 years of being trapped in a FB group message about a baby shower.
@teacup_giraffe: You go for a run then post your route to Facebook. I dig a hole on that route then cover it with sticks and leaves. We both get exercise.