@JennyJohnsonHi5: The phrase "you two deserve each other" sounds like a compliment, but never is.
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@thatUPSdude: Turns out police dislike it when you slip out of your handcuffs. Even if you do say "ABRACADABRA" when you do it.
@SICKOFWOLVES: MOVING IS AWESOME I GET TO PACK UP ALL MY THINGS AND SLOWLY REALIZE THAT THE MATERIAL GOODS I SPENT YEARS WORKING TO AFFORD HAVE BECOME AN ANCHOR FROM WHICH I WILL NEVER BE FREE OH AND I MUST FORWARD MY MAIL
@click4amanda: HR: Can you explain this?? Me: I thought it was CORNhub, with recipes on how to make delicious corn and corn related dishes