@shutupmikeginn: The pigeons behind my apartment are fighting for claim to half a rain soaked hotdog. Fighting me.
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@robyn_vo: I ran into a hot guy at the grocery store last week and he hasn't tracked me down and proposed to me yet. This is why I hate movies.
@kelkulus: The American flags on the moon have been bleached white from 44 years of solar radiation. If aliens ever attack, we've already surrendered.
@LiLdavid29: MUST HAVE BEFORE WATCHING THE CONJURING : - Bible - iBible iPhone app - Holy Water - Priest - Jesus - 5 Jesus necklaces - Holy Spirt
@TheBoydP: The ruling that legal papers can now be "served" on Facebook is ridiculous. Don't they know the people they're looking for are on twitter?